The Room Of Doom
by MonkeyMojo
Summary: The Cullens are invited to Volterra to observe a vampire reality television show... but they don't know just how much they will be participating. Then, just when things start looking up... BOOM. Now they're in a game show... Anybody want a tortoise? Mmm..
1. Congratulations!

**I don't own anything Stephenie Meyers has copyrighted. But anything she forgot is mine. Bwahaha.**

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**Chapter One: Congratulations! You've won… _what_?!**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

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I walked in the front door after I got off from work at the hospital. I'd say it was an exhausting day… but I don't get tired.

Anyway… I walked in and picked up the mail from the table in the entryway. Of course, being the last one to go through the mail, I automatically never saw anything but junk mail. Everyone else had already picked through the rest of it, so really I was only half glancing at it.

Do you know how annoying it is to get mail that reads, 'Congrats, you won a free emu!' for _hundreds_ of years? Honestly, how do they _always_ know where to send it?

I sighed as I sorted through all of it. _Free Xbox… Free lion tamer degree… Free credit card… Free hair and makeup tutorial… Free Volturi extermination… Free spa— Wait, what?! I can seriously get a free lion tamer degree? Wow… nah, probably a scam…_ I thought.

I threw the mail back onto the table to be discarded later. I was halfway up the stairs when I suddenly stopped, turned around, went back down to the table, and grabbed the Volturi extermination letter, pretending I wasn't a complete idiot for forgetting it… I tore it open and read,

_**Dear Carlisle,**_

_**Really, Carlisle, you opened it? I would have thought better of you! Do you want us gone that badly? No, of course not… **_

_**I am writing to invite you and your family to visit our wonderful city. We are currently hosting… a version of human reality shows. We are testing out how well television strictly for vampires would turn out, and we would love for you to… participate. No need to let us know… I already know you wouldn't pass up a chance to see old friends.**_

_**Be here at sunset one week from the day you recieve this letter. And remember to make sure your family eats heartily before you come. Otherwise, who knows what will happen…**_

—_**Aro**_

I sighed. Maybe we could just… not go? No, that wouldn't end well.

And as much as I hated to admit it, the reality television show he had mentioned intrigued me…


	2. Arrival

**AN: (Sorry, I'm trying to avoid these...) I have a poll on my profile. If you've read any of my stories, please vote in it. I'm curious as to how old you think I am.**

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**Chapter Two: Arrival**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

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"So, tell us again _why_ you're dragging us to Volterra against our will?" Rosalie asked angrily as we stepped off of the plane. We had about an hour before Aro was expecting us, and I didn't want to be late. It didn't help that everyone was complaining about it. Even Esme! All of them were whining the entire way here because apparently Alice 'had a bad feeling about it'.

"For the seven hundred and sixtieth time, we are going to Volterra so that Aro can show us a vampire television reality show! I am not telling you again!" I screamed. I screamed a bit too loudly because half of the airport turned to glare.

Edward cringed. "Who knew people could think such hostile thoughts in Italian…" he said as Bella patted his arm sympathetically.

I sighed, "Let's just go already."

We got there with time to spare, but Aro was already waiting for us.

"Oh, how wonderful, you're here at last! Let's not waste any time! What I want to show you is right this way…" he said, welcoming us through the door.

He led us through corridor after corridor… hallway after hallway… it felt as if we were in a maze. We walked for hours, and we couldn't even complain of getting tired, because… we don't get tired. I've told you that before, I'm sure of it…

We finally stopped at a door, but before Aro could speak Jasper cried out, "Hey, isn't that the front door right there?"

"Yes." Aro replied.

Emmett's eye twitched. "Then _why_ did we just walk for _hours_ when we could have just walked two feet to the left and already been there?!" he yelled.

Aro just shrugged and said, "It seemed like a good idea at the time… but enough of this. Behind this door is what I've been waiting to show you!"

He opened the door, but I couldn't see in from where I was standing. As the others headed into the room, Aro pulled me aside and said, "Carlisle, stand out here with me for a moment."

"Um… alright, Aro, what do you need?" I said.

"Oh, nothing, I just need you to stay out of that particular room for now. You're family is going to be the actual participants of the show." he said with a smile.

"Oh. Well, judging by what I've seen from human reality television, this experience for them is not going to be pleasant, is it?" I asked.

"No, not likely." He replied.

"Will it hurt them?"

"No."

"Well, in that case, would you mind letting Esme stay with me? As long as they are safe, I don't mind them participating, but I'd rather Esme not be subjected to it." I said.

"No, I don't mind in the least! You go retrieve your wife, and I will lock the door." Aro said.

"Will do," I said as I walked toward the door. I opened it to see my family looking around in confusion. It was completely empty, white walled room. Not too large, about the size of your average bedroom.

I discreetly walked up behind Esme and said, "Come with me dear, I need to talk to you privately."

She nodded and we left the room.

"What did you—" she was cut off by the door slamming. We heard the protests of six confused and angry vampires coming from inside.

"Well, then. If you two would follow me, we shall go to the viewing room!" Aro said.


	3. Almost To The Good Part

**Just so there's no confusion, Bella is a vampire. This story takes place several years after her change… Sorry for the wait… if you care… and, um… Go vote in my poll.**

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**Chapter Three: We're Almost To The Good Part...**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

Aro led us to a room several floors up from our children's current prison. He stopped just outside the door and said, "Inside this room is the control panel for all things vampire-television. Be prepared for glory and awe."

He dramatically swept the door open and Esme and I stepped in.

I felt no glory.

I felt no awe.

"Aro, this is just a room with a TV… Where is the awe?" I asked.

"Yes, it was pretty anti-climactic. The whole, 'build up the suspense and let them down hard' thing is pretty cruel…" Esme stated.

Aro rolled his eyes. "It's not this room, sillies! We go _through_ this room to the good one!" he said joyfully as we walked to the door on the other side of the room.

"Oh… heh heh. Sorry." I said sheepishly.

Aro just smiled and opened the second door even _more_ dramatically and Esme and I gasped.

Inside this room there was one wall of controls, two walls of equipment, and one whole wall serving as the television.

Currently the television was showing six grumpy vampires arguing in the middle of a white room. Two of them were banging loudly on all of the walls, trying to break through.

Needless to say, it wasn't working.

I turned to Aro and asked, "What are the walls made of?"

"I have no idea, but it comes in handy, don't you think?" he replied.

"I suppose… Aro, my conscience is kicking in. Why am I letting you exploit my children in this way?" I asked.

"Because, from a medical point of view, you want to observe what happens when a vampire is put under the extreme pressure of reality TV." Aro replied.

"Ah, yes. Good point." I said, happy now that I had a good excuse for when they got out and tried to kill me.

"Why don't we begin the show?" Aro said with a smile that made me shiver. I suddenly wished for a better excuse…


	4. Meet Juicy

**The host's name was going to be either Juicy Fruit or J Dawg. You'll see the result of my indecision… Go vote in my poll… please? XD**

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**Chapter Four: Meet Juicy**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

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Images scrolled across the screen, then stopped in the middle, and went on again showing another person. The first was a picture of a man I didn't recognize, it said his name was 'Juicy J Dawg, Host, Teleportation' then pictures of Jasper, Alice, Emmett, Rosalie, Edward, and Bella, beside each picture was their name and power. Then at the end, there was the title of the show. _The Room of Doom_ flashed on the screen, and disappeared.

The screen faded and showed the outside of a door. I assumed it was the door that was keeping the others hostage.

I watched as a _very_ energetic man with a crazy glint in his eyes jumped into view and said, "Wazzup!? I'm your host, Juicy J Dawg! I'll be taking you through the good times and the bad times of six holed up vampires locked in an empty room! 'But Juicy J Dawg', you say, 'what's so great about an empty room?' Well, nothing. _If_ it were _just_ an empty room! But it's not! It's a _special_ empty room! It does special things! What special things? Well, viewer, you'll just have to see as we go along…"

I turned to Aro and said, "Wow. Where did you find him? You can almost _see_ the exclamation points radiating from him…"

"Oh, it was easy," said Aro, "we just put out an ad for a vampire who could teleport, and here he is!"

"And you got a response to that?" I asked. "Amazing… but why does he need teleportation?"

"You'll see… just watch." he replied.

I turned back to the screen to see Juicy J Dawg start talking again.

"So, we've already apprehended our six contestants! Let's meet them, shall we?" he said.

Then he disappeared. The camera view switched to a camera that was apparently inside the room, where he reappeared. I could see all six of them looking at him with shocked expressions on their faces.

"Who are you?"

"Where's Carlisle? I'm gonna kill him!"

"I WANT OUT!"

"Where did the door go?"

"How do you get your eyes to do that swirly thing?"

"Is this where you tell us we're being Punk'd?"

The questions were endless. I was surprised at how close the last one was, though.

Juicy J Dawg just laughed and said, "Not to worry! You are all on a reality television show called _The Room Of Doom!_ You will be let out… eventually! You just have to see who lasts the longest! Now, I need to introduce the contestants! First, we have this big lug next to me, Emmett! He has super strength! Well, we all do, but we wanted to make him feel special."

"Hey!" Emmett cried.

"Next to him we have his mate, Rosalie! Rosalie—"

"Rosalie wants to kill you." she said as she glared.

"Ahem… moving on! Next there's—"

"Actually, we all want to cause you quite a lot of harm." Jasper said as they all started to advance on him.

"Yes, well, this is why they hired someone who could teleport. Bye!" he said, and then left the room, leaving six furious vampires to fume. Angrily.


	5. Hot Pink

**This one long enough for you? Huh?! Well... It's still kinda short.**

**(My bro) Juicy wants you to know that he got to read this first…o.0**

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**Chapter Five: Hot Pink**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

"Well, that went well!" Aro said happily.

"How so? If the host can't be in the same room, how do you plan on the show continuing?" Esme asked.

"They'll let him in eventually. They will have to realize that if they let us have our fun, we'll let them out!" Aro replied. He asked, "Carlisle, do you have any medical observations?"

"What? Oh, yes… um… let's see. Oh, I know! An empty room and crazy host do not six happy vampires make." I said.

"What did you say?" Aro asked.

"I said, if you put vampires in a locked room, they get cranky."

"I see," Aro replied.

"Oh, look!" Esme said, pointing at the screen. "They're doing something other than muttering angrily!"

She was right. They had gone from muttering angrily to being huddled together, apparently forming some kind of plan.

They broke apart and tried to look innocent. It didn't work, but I suppose it kept them occupied. Then, Jasper launched himself at the wall, did some kind of flip and ended up somehow holding himself up in the top corner of the room.

"Dude, that was wicked." Emmett said.

"I would thank you, but talking would make me fall… oh," he said as he fell. He repeated the process after telling them all not to talk to him anymore.

I was wondering how long he could stay up when Juicy J Dawg appeared in the room.

"Hello again everybo— AH!" he cried as Jasper landed on him. He disappeared.

Everyone cheered when they realized Jasper had gone with him.

Then they booed when he reappeared and threw Jasper back into the room, then left.

The booing turned to shocked silence when they saw what Jasper was wearing.

"Oh, he's good…" Rosalie mumbled.

"What? Why are you looking at me like—OH MY GOODNESS! Get it off! It burns!" he screamed.

He was wearing a hot pink strapless dress.

"Hey, look on the bright side. It fits you in all the right places!" Alice giggled.

He whimpered.

"Oh, quit being such a baby! It's on over your clothes! Take the thing off." Edward said.

Jasper sat up and said, "Really? Cool…"

As he was taking it off Juicy came back and said, "I hope you all learned a—STOP IT!" he yelled as they advanced on him again, making him have to leave.

"Serves him right…" Jasper mumbled.

"How did he even get you into that thing? It was tiny!" Bella said.

He shuddered and said, "You don't want to know…"

Juicy appeared in the room and shouted, "Fine! You've forced me into drastic measures!" Then he disappeared before they could reach him.

He reappeared across the room and said, "I'll have to—"

He left and came back again, this time in the opposite side of the room. He did this several times, successfully avoiding painful contact with everyone else.

"I just wanted—"

"to tell you—"

"that this will all—"

"be over so much quicker—"

"if you just—"

"COOPERATED!" he shouted. After that, he didn't come back for a few minutes, letting them speak privately.

"Maybe we could see what he says…" Bella suggested. She was met with loud protests. "It doesn't mean we have to do what they say, just listen!" she clarified.

Edward sighed and said, "I suppose…"

Emmett interrupted, shouting, "You're just agreeing because she's your wife!"

Rosalie glared at Emmett and said, "What's your point, _dear_?"

Emmett cowered.

Rosalie smirked.

Juicy popped… into the room.


	6. No, You're A Doorknob!

**Chapter 6: No, You're A Doorknob**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

"So, are y'all ready to do this thing or what?" Juicy asked.

"Yeah, yeah, just tell us what we're supposed to do to get out of here." Bella said.

"Alright, so you're on a vampire-reality television... No, no, I'm gonna do this right..." Juicy said.

He made an excited gesture and shouted, "Welcome, contestants, to... _**The Room Of Doom**_! _The_ most exciting reality show... like, _ever_!"

"What's so special about it?" Rosalie asked, bored.

Juicy glared at her and said, "I was getting to that! Don't interrupt me!"

"Don't tell me what to do, you overexcited... camel's hump!" she shouted.

They all looked at her and Emmett said, "Camel's hump? Really Rose? Where'd you learn that one, first grade?"

"Shut up." she replied.

Juicy rolled his eyes and said, "Anyway... this show is so totally awesome because nothing like it has ever been done before! This is the first reality television show that doesn't actually have to care if the contestants get hurt and/or die! Isn't that awesome?"

"What do you mean?" Jasper asked.

"I'm glad you asked. See that door handle?"

"Yeah... What about it?"

"Touch it."

"...No."

"Go on, do it!"

"No! You can't make me!"

"Just do it, already!"

Emmett rolled his eyes and said, "I'll do it, you pansy!" as he walked to the doorknob.

Right before his hand touched the doorknob Alice yelled, "No, don't!"

But it was too late. He had already touched the doorknob.

The entire roomed exploded with sparkles and color and educational songs.

Edward had his hands over his ears. He shouted, "What is this... death music?!"

Juicy just smiled and sang along, "It's a small world after all..."

"Make it stop!" Rose yelled.

"How?" Bella asked loudly.

"The only way to make it stop is to..." Juicy paused and laughed maniacally, "touch the doorknob again."

"He's lying!" Alice shouted.

"I don't care! Anything to make it stop!" Emmett yelled as he reached for the doorknob.

And indeed it did stop when he touched it. But only to be replaced by something much, much worse.

Barney the dinosaur. In a bikini. Doing the Soulja Boy dance.

"Oh, no way. This is sweet!" Juicy yelled.

"Are you insane? This is torture!" Jasper yelled. "Although I am starting to dig this rhythm..." he said.

"No! Jazz, come back from the dark side!" Alice yelled.

"I can't help it. I feel..."

"No..."

"I feel... like Super Man!"

"Oh, I can't believe this..." Edward said, rolling his eyes.

They watched in horror as Jasper started dancing along with Juicy and Barney.

I turned to Aro who was bobbing his head to the beat and asked, "How much longer can this go on?"

"Not too much longer, he hasn't even told them the rules yet. They just have to realize that all they have to do is touch the doorknob twice more." he replied. He then gave in to temptation and started jumping to the side in time with the song.

I looked away in disgrace and turned my attention back to the suffering vampires locked in the room.

Jasper was trying to do a complicated move and ended up touching the doorknob again.

He screamed as a bright light filled the room.

By the time the light faded, Barney, Juicy, and Jasper were all gone.

"OH MY GOODNESS! HE TURNED INTO CHICKEN!" Alice screamed hysterically.

And indeed he had. For where he had been standing, dancing so joyfully, was only a small bucket of cheap chicken.

* * *

**Bwahaha. Cliffy... but I already have about half of the next chapter written, so don't worry. Juicy is standing by with a dictionary, ready to hit me with it if I stop typing...**

**Sorry for the wait... this one is kinda long... kinda short... Was this chapter long or short? I don't know... It's three in the morning. I have my reasons.**

**Go listen to Handlebars by Flobots... It's great. I usually don't like hip-hop, but this is good...**

**Guess what? I was going to spend around 70 dollars to buy Microsoft Office/Word, but I downloaded OpenOffice off of the FF homepage. It's exactly the same. But free. It's awesome.**


	7. Boredom And Bouncy Balls

**Chapter 7: Boredom And Bouncy Balls**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

Right before they all went into freakout mode, Jasper reappeared, laying on the floor.

"JASPER! YOU'RE ALIVE!" Alice screeched as she flung herself at him. She stopped halfway, though. "Um... Jazz, I hate to say it, but you've got that—"

"No... I'm wearing it _again_!" Jasper moaned. "_Why_? Why must he torture me so?"

Bella laughed and said, "Hey, Jasper, nice hair..."

"What do you... oh, come on!" he yelled as he snatched the bleached-blond wig off of his head and threw it across the room.

Where it landed on the doorknob and fizzled away into ashes.

Juicy was back in the room. "Well, now. We absolutely _have_ to go over the rules now! No more getting sidetracked!"

"Who said we're going to—" Edward began, but was interrupted by Juicy screaming, "I DO. Now all of you shut up while I explain to our viewers what the rules are!"

They blinked at him. He took that to mean that they were going to be quiet and began again, only to be interrupted by Emmett shouting, "Viewers? People are watching us? HELP US! PLEASE!"

Juicy rolled his eyes and said, "It's not live! We can just edit that out! You're stuck here until you people stop interrupting me and let me speak!"

He was silent for a few moments, making sure they were not going to talk, and began speaking again. But before he could get far, Bella said, "Does that mean if we listen, we can leave? Like, right after?"

He screamed.

"FINE! If you people stop speaking for at least an hour, I will let you out of this room!" he screamed.

They all yelled happily.

"Oops, you all lose. That's what you get for being happy."

They started yelling at him.

He interrupted them saying, "I was only kidding. But now you really did lose... sheesh."

They glared at him.

He smiled and said, "Now, the rules are as follows. Number One: No leaving the room. Number Two: Touching the doorknob creates fun things. Number Three: Eating is strictly prohibited. Number Five: Stuffed animals are not allowed. For any reason." he shuddered. He then said, "So, is there any problem with the rules?"

They all just stared at him.

"Those were the rules?" Rose asked.

"Yep."

"And you flipped out on us so that you could explain what? That you have an aversion to plush toys?" Jasper asked.

"Pretty much."

"Why?" Alice asked.

He shrugged. "Good television."

Then he was gone. They all looked around but he had disappeared.

"I hate when he does that." Alice said.

"Yeah. Me, too." Jasper said.

They sat there for a while, not saying much. After a few minutes Bella said, "Hey, when is he going to come back?"

They shrugged.

"Well, since we're stuck here for an undetermined amount of time... we should amuse ourselves." Rose said.

"By doing what, playing Hide-And-Seek?" Edward asked sarcastically.

She glared at him. "You have a better idea? We either sit here and wait for him to come back, which, might I remind you, could be weeks, or we find some way to have fun!" she said.

Bella looked around nervously and asked, "You don't think he'd really leave us in here for weeks, do you?"

"He wouldn't have any reason not to. It's not like they need to let us out to go to the bathroom or anything." Jasper replied.

"Hmmm... well then Rose, what's your big idea?" Edward asked.

She shrugged and said, "I don't know. I just don't want to be bored."

Edward rolled his eyes. "Well, someone think of something!" he said.

So they all went deep into their thoughts to try and find something fun to do...

* * *

I turned to Aro and said, "Is he really going to keep them in there for weeks?"

He shrugged, "I dunno... If viewers like it, we will... besides, if we get them bored enough they're bound to do something amusing."

"But what about when they need to feed?" Esme asked.

Aro replied, "Well it's not like they can starve to death. But I suppose cranky vampires wouldn't be fun to watch... Maybe we'll throw something in there for them to eat... But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it! For now, we watch!"

* * *

"So... anyone think of anything yet?" Edward asked. It had been three days. So far they had thought of tag, wrestling, football, and makeover extravaganza.

Needless to say, they didn't last long.

Tag ended when they realized they were all within arms reach of each other.

Wrestling just got everybody cranky, since flailing body parts were hitting the bystanders.

Football failed for obvious reasons. The least of which was that they had no actual ball.

By that time even the boys would have willingly participated in makeover extravaganza, but seeing as the girls had no makeup with them, that idea was quickly shot down.

Bella leaped up and exclaimed, "I'm so bored! Why didn't we bring any games or something? Or at least a _purse_?" She pointed at Rose and Alice and said, "Since when are either of you _ever_ without a purse?"

Alice screamed as a bouncy ball hit her in the head, bounced off, hit a wall, bounced off of _that_, and hit the doorknob.

Then it exploded.

They all stared at Bella in shock.

"What the heck!?" Emmett asked. "Were you holding out on us? You had a bouncy ball this entire time?!"

"No..." Bella said, looking at her fingertip in awe. "I think... I think it came out of my finger..."

* * *

**This is the longest chapter yet, so no complaining that it's too short!**

**So, everybody ready for Story Tip #2? (Points to anyone who know what #1 was...)**

**When writing a story, it's best to have at least a basic plotline...**

**This one had none. So, it's based completely on what I come up with at that moment. That's actually the problem with Bella's Baby. I don't know what to do with it now... Anyway... I came up with something for this one, so it's okay now.**

**Everyone together now... YAY! 0.o**

**Peace out,**

**Mojo**


	8. Bubbles

**Chapter 8: Bubbles**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

They looked at her in confusion.

"It... came out of your finger?" Edward asked.

"That's not possible." Jasper said.

"Who cares? It's awesome! I want one! Do it again, Bella!" Emmett exclaimed.

"I don't know if I can... I don't even know how I did it in the first place." Bella said.

"It can't hurt to try!" Emmett said excitedly. "I want a bouncy ball!"

"Fine, fine. Hey, Alice? Can you see anything?" Bella asked.

"Um, no... I'm trying to avoid looking. That Juicy dude can't make up his mind at all. Whenever I try to see anything, a million different scenarios go through my head... None of them very pleasant." Alice answered.

"Alright then... here goes nothing." Bella said as she stuck her finger out in front of her. She closed her eyes and concentrated.

After a few minutes Emmett frowned and said, "Come on already! I want a bouncy ball!"

Bella growled at him and said, "Hold on a second, Emmett! It's not working."

"Well, make it work!"

"I can't just make it work. I don't know _how_ to make it work!"

"Try harder!"

"Leave her alone!" Edward shouted.

"Don't tell him what to do!" Rosalie yelled.

"Everybody shut up!" Bella yelled as hundreds of bouncy balls flew at them from out of nowhere and ricocheted off the walls.

"DUCK AND COVER!" Jasper yelled, going into the fetal position.

* * *

"Fascinating!" I said as we watched them get buried under a layer of rubber balls. "It seems that when showing extreme emotions, Bella produces balls!"

Aro looked at me and started giggling madly.

"What? What did I say?" I asked, confused.

Esme just sighed and shook her head, trying to hide her own laughter.

I rolled my eyes and looked back at the screen.

I couldn't see any of them. It seemed as if they were completely covered by the balls.

But just as I was thinking maybe we should get them out, a hand shot out from the pile.

Slowly, Emmett emerged from the rubble.

"I AM VICTORIOUS!" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air and hitting them on the ceiling. They were considerably higher up now that about half of the room has filled with bouncy balls.

"Shut up, Emmett." Edward said as he crawled out with Bella close behind him.

When they were all out and had recuperated a bit, Emmett looked at Bella and said, "Good going."

She glared at him and said, "If you hadn't been yelling at me—"

"Oh, you blame this on me?!" Emmett interrupted.

"Yes I blame this on you! It's your fault!" Bella yelled furiously.

Emmett opened his mouth to respond, but no words came out.

Instead, a large bubble appeared. And another came right after.

They stared at them, captivated, until Alice went up to one and poked it.

When it popped, they heard a word.

"NOT!"

Emmett blinked.

Alice poked the other bubble.

"IS!"

Edward looked from Emmett to Bella and said, "I'm confused..."

"Ha! You're confused! I'm the one that keeps shooting people with bouncy balls, and now Emmett is speaking in bubbles!?" Bella yelled.

Emmett tried to speak again, to no avail. Two more bubbles came out.

"Pop them! I think the words come out of the bubbles!" Alice yelled.

"No duh, genius." Rose said.

"Everyone just needs to chill..." Jasper said.

"What if I don't want to chill? Huh? What then Mr. Feelings?!" Bella shouted.

Jasper frowned at her.

Bella was then hit with a wave of calm that knocked her over.

"Whoa... Copasetic man..." she said, dazed.

Edward poked her. "What did you do to her?"

Jasper shrugged and said, "She needed to calm down. Now someone poke those bubbles before_ I_ poke _you_!"

Rosalie rolled her eyes and poked them.

"SCARED"

"I'M"

She looked at Emmett who was just sitting there frowning.

Alice looked at Rose and said, "You poked them in the wrong order."

"Does it matter? My husband has been traumatized by Bella's newfound powers."

"It's... not my... fault." Bella said from where she was laying.

"Wow Jasper. How much calm can one person take?" Alice asked.

He shrugged and said, "I wonder why the doorknob hasn't been making the balls explode. It did last time."

"Silly Jasper, it's on the ceiling..." Bella said. She tried to point at it, but her arm outweighed itself and she ended up hitting herself on the face.

They looked up and there it was.

Innocently hanging from the ceiling.

Inches away from Bella's hand, which was getting closer to it by the second.

"Shiny..."

"DON'T TOUCH IT!" yelled Jasper.

But it was too late, of course.

Her hand touched the doorknob and they all disappeared.

* * *

**That wasn't the end of the story... Just so you know. XD**

**Actually, it could be. There's a new poll on my profile, or you can just tell me in a review, should I end this here and make a sequel or continue in this story? Either way, the next chapters are technically Part 2.**

**Peace out,**

**Mojo**


	9. They're Dead?

**Chapter 9: They're Dead?!**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

"Aro, where did they go?!" I asked, panicking slightly. I had been trying to enjoy the show, but now all that was left of my family was a pile of bouncy balls and a lone bubble floating in the air.

Aro laughed and said, "Don't worry, Carlisle! They went to a better place!"

Esme gasped, "_They died?!_"

"No, no, silly girl! They literally were transported to a room that they will like better!" Aro said. "Or... they _should_ like it better. Who knows, maybe they prefer the lonely and obsolete feelings of an empty room..."

"That was deep, Aro. Deep." Carlisle said.

"Word." Esme said.

"Indeed."

"Wait, no it wasn't."

"Shut up, we're having a moment."

"Whatever..."

Aro gestured towards the television and said, "Shall we continue?"

* * *

Juicy J Dawg walked slowly over the floor of bouncy balls towards the bubble that was floating in the empty room. He looked around, feigning innocence, and quickly reached out and poked it.

The air was filled with the voice of Emmett as he had tried to speak in his last few seconds in this fateful room, as he had watched Bella slowly reach towards the doorknob...

"Aw, crap."

Juicy giggled. "He has no idea..."

* * *

**Yes, I KNOW this is short. Shortest chapter of them all! But I wanted to put something out, and the next chapter is technically part 2 and it wouldn't...flow. Ya know? XD And it makes part 2 start on the tenth chapter... so it's even... -shifty eyes- Can anyone say OCD? :P**

**I'll probably have the next chapter out tomorrow...**

**Thank you, everyone who voted! The two parts are being kept together as one big story. Which is probably how it would've been done anyway... so... Thank you for voting!**

**Peace out,**

**Mojo**


	10. What Now?

**Chapter 10: What Now?!**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

It was dark...

Very dark...

"Oh my goodness." someone whispered.

"It's so dark! I must be dead!"

"You're not dead! Unless I'm dead, too. Wait... oh, great."

"Why are we whispering?"

"I don't know. By the by, thanks a lot for touching the doorknob, Bella. Idiot."

"Hey, it wasn't my fault! I was pretty much catatonic from Jasper's knock-out punch of calm! Besides, you should be thanking me. If I hadn't touched the doorknob we would still be in that room! At least we can stand up all the way now!"

"HEY, GUYS! CHECK THIS OUT!" someone yelled loudly, causing everyone to screech in surprise.

"Shut up!"

"What? There really was no reason to be whispering."

"You didn't need to scare us!"

"Yes I did. Now, come look!"

"We can't... It's dark."

"Fine, come feel!"

"... Feel what?"

"The wall!"

"Fine! Where are you?"

"Over here!"

"Oh, that helps."

"Come towards my voice, stupid!"

"Your voice is coming from several places!"

"What, like an echo?"

"No, like... your voice is being projected from different directions."

"Now that you say it, yours is doing the same thing!"

"Hey, guys? I feel strange..."

"You are strange."

"Well, you're a toad!"

"Oh, yeah?"

"Yeah!"

"I'm voting you off the island!"

"What island? There's no island!"

"Children, behave! Do we need to turn the boat around?"

"What boat?! _We're not on an island_!"

"I want to go home!"

"Oh, how original! You couldn't think of a better complaint?"

"Fine, how about this? If whoever is grabbing my butt doesn't get their hands off of me, I will kill you!"

"..."

"That was a threat, not a complaint."

"ARGH!"

There was a thump, then a long ripping noise.

"Oh my goodness, you tore my dress!"

"Get over it!"

"Um, guys? None of the girls were wearing a dress..."

"And wasn't that a guys voice?"

"Yeah, you're right!"

"... We are not alone..."

"Oh, yeah, way to creep us out!"

Right then the lights came on.

We gasped.

All six of them were wearing hot pink glittery dresses, with blond wigs and microphone headsets.

They were also on a stage.

I saw Alice crouched over Juicy, preparing to beat him, until she noticed who he was... and what he was wearing.

Now she just looked like she was going to kill him.

Juicy looked up at her and said, "Heh heh... Surprise?"


	11. Stage Of Rage And Roberto

**Chapter 11: The Stage Of Rage And... Roberto**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

"Erm... Alice, you wanna get off me now? The dress is chafing..." Juicy said from under Alice.

She growled at him. He cringed as she leaned over him. She brought her face near his ear and sneered, "Don't mess with me, _Juicy_."

She started to stand up, but as she did she gripped his wig and yanked, pulling it off. Along with most of his actual hair.

Juicy screamed.

"You pulled out my hair! _Are you insane?!_ I CAN'T GROW IT BACK!" he screeched.

She smirked and said, "I told you not to mess with me."

"But you pulled out my hair!"

"Not all of it. You'll get over it eventually."

"... But why?" he whimpered.

"Besides groping me? How about LOCKING US IN A ROOM," Alice yelled angrily.

"I think all of the surprises have finally gotten to Alice..." Bella whispered to Rosalie.

"It was kinda harsh, though," Rosalie replied.

"SHUT UP!" Alice shrieked.

"Um... not to break up the love-fest, but... where are we?" Edward said. He then remembered the dress and wig and ripped both off with a look of disgust. Everyone followed suit.

Juicy straightened up, trying to look dignified and said, "Good question! We are currently on a stage. You might have noticed that beyond the stage, there is... a wall. There usually would be an audience, but we figured you might... I dunno... use them for your own nefarious needs. Like escape. That and we couldn't get enough vampires that were willing to come. They thought it was a trick. For some reason vampires aren't very trusting... Anywho, due to lack of live... or not live... audience, we have supplied a virtual audience!"

He pulled a garage door opener out of his pocket and pressed the button. The wall was, of course, a screen. It showed a group of people in bleachers. We could see them moving around. It looked as if they were cheering...

Silently. There was no sound.

Emmett turned to Juicy and said, "Why are they quiet? I want to hear them cheer me on!"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Emmett, they can't really hear you. It's a recording," he said.

"Oh. Darn." Emmett replied.

Juicy smiled and held up the garage door opener again and said, "But if it makes you feel better, I can do this!"

He pressed the button and the room erupted in cheers.

Emmett turned to the wall and bowed several times as everyone else rolled their eyes at him.

Edward sighed and asked, "What are we doing here?"

"I'm betting the empty room wasn't interesting enough. It got boring so they're throwing us into a different, but equally annoying, room," Bella said.

Juicy smiled at her and said, "How observant. But only partly true. You're here because we decided that instead of a reality show, you will be on a... game show!"

Rose looked at him and said, "Do you mean to tell us... We spent all that time in there... for nothing?!"

He looked thoughtful for a moment before saying, "Yep, that's about it!"

She screeched and ran at him, ready to pull out what was left of his hair. But he screamed and conveniently disappeared.

They all stood there fuming until he came back, carrying a box that was overflowing with colorful things.

They glared at him, but their curiosity got the better of them and Bella asked, "What's in the box?"

He smiled and said, "I'm glad you asked! But I can't tell you. I'll just have to... show you!"

He then ran around the room very quickly, setting up the contents of the box. Within a minute the entire room was decorated like a classic television game show. There were blinking lights everywhere. On the left there was a podium, apparently for Juicy. There wasn't a space for the 'contestants'... just a lot of floor space.

Colorful, colorful floor space.

"Wow... it looks like Jeopardy and Wheel Of Fortune got together and threw up on the walls..." Alice mumbled.

"Don't be negative, darling!" Juicy sang.

Everything was quiet for a few minutes in a very awkward pause.

"So... what exactly is this game show about?" Edward asked.

"_Finally_! I didn't think you'd _ever_ ask!" Juicy exclaimed.

He got behind the podium and dramatically exclaimed, "Welcome, contestants, to..._ The Stage Of Rage_!"

"The Stage Of Rage? What the heck... Oh! 'Cause we're on a stage... and we feel angry... heh... that's kinda clever...," Bella said.

Juicy glared and said, "Shut up. I'm _trying_ to be the dramatic game show host. You are not helping!"

She rolled her eyes and mumbled, "Sorry..."

"Anyway, The Stage Of Rage. This special little game is a game where you will have to... play with animals!" Juicy looked around, expecting something other than the silence he got.

"What do you mean... 'play with animals'?" Rosalie asked.

He smiled and evil smile. "I'm glad you asked..."

He disappeared and came back with another box, this one much larger than the last. He set it down on it's side and opened the flaps.

A tortoise walked out. Very slowly. Very, very slowly.

In fact, he went so slow that Juicy finally sighed and picked it up, placing it in the middle of the room.

"This," he said, gesturing at the tortoise, "is Roberto!"

Everyone was silent, staring at... Roberto.

"So... um... what exactly are we going to do with Roberto?" Edward asked.

"Well," Juicy began, "I can't tell you that yet. Just a moment."

He bent down and picked up Roberto, which looked a bit funny, since Roberto was so big. He lifted Roberto's leg to his face and... bit him. Which wasn't all that spectacular. They all thought he was going to drink him.

They were wrong.

When they realized what Juicy had planned, they were slightly shocked, to say the least. Their reactions, for instance, ranged from, "What the Hell?" to, "Hey, I didn't know we could turn animals!", and then one odd one coming from Alice, who wondered what tortoise would taste like.

"Probably chewy in liquid form..." Bella answered her.

"...Ew." Edward said.

"Agreed," Juicy said, "I hate chewy, especially in liquid form, so... I now introduce... Vampire Roberto! Only... he doesn't look too happy about it..."

And indeed he didn't. When Juicy bit him, he twitched slightly, then started twitching harder, emitting small squeaking noises that I had no idea turtles could produce. He was now thrashing around in Juicy's arms in obvious pain.

"Oh, that poor turtle!" Bella exclaimed.

"It's a tortoise." Juicy said.

"Does it matter?" Alice asked angrily.

"Well, of course. We wouldn't want to offend," he answered.

"Oh, no, because he won't be offended at all that you just bit him!" Jasper cried sarcastically.

Edward looked at him oddly and said, "Jasper... you have strange thoughts..."

Jasper's lower lip trembled slightly as he said, "Well, Juicy hurt his feelings."

"Um... okay...," Juicy said. He looked down at Roberto, who was calming down slightly, and said, "I'm sorry Roberto. Will you forgive me?"

Roberto made no response. They looked at Jasper, who said, "He is slightly mollified."

"What does that mean?" Juicy asked.

Jasper rolled his eyes and said, "It means he feels better."

"Oh. Hey, look! I think he's done!" Juicy said happily. "Now, before I put him down, I need to explain the rules. He's bound to be a bit aggravated, and more than a bit hungry, so when I put him down, he may attack. The point of this challenge is to catch him. Everybody ready?"

"No. What If we don't want to play your silly little games?" Rosalie asked angrily.

"Oh, you will! The winner gets to leave!" Juicy explained.

Emmett narrowed his eyes in suspicion. "Leave to where?" he asked.

"Out of the room of course!" Juicy answered.

"Yeah? Into what? Another room?! That's what happened last time! How do we know you aren't tricking us?" Bella asked.

"I'll have Carlisle come in and tell you that the winner is safe with him," Juicy said.

"Huh... Hey, wait. There would only be one winner. What about the others?" Jasper asked.

"They will get another chance at winning through another challenge!" Juicy replied. "Now... Let's begin! Catch Roberto!" he said.

And with that, he set Roberto on the ground.

Roberto lifted a leg, preparing to slowly run away, but he didn't realize his newfound strength and zoomed straight into the wall.

"Ha! That's exactly what Bella did!" Emmett yelled.

Bella glared at him and started to say something, but was cut off by a tortoise crashing into her legs. She fell to the ground as Alice screamed, "Grab him, Bella!"

Bella grabbed for him but it was too late. He had already zoomed away towards the opposite wall. They chased after him, grabbing at him, but no one was fast enough. It didn't help that the room was so small, either. They all kept bumping into each other rather loudly.

Finally, they had him cornered. He was backed up against the wall with the six of them in a half circle around him. Edward inched forward, hands outstretched, slowly creeping towards Roberto when suddenly Roberto lunged at Alice. She screamed and ran, as everyone else shouted at her to get him.

"Alice, you pansy! Quit running away!" Bella yelled.

"So it can attack me? I think not!" she answered as she tried to trick it by sharply turning and running the other way.

It didn't quite work.

"Alice, how in the world did you end up on top of him?!" Emmett yelled.

"I don't know! Get me off, get me off, get me off!" she screamed. She was holding on to Roberto's shell as he spun around in circles.

"I'll save you!" Jasper yelled, lunging at the spinning tortoise. He grabbed Alice and lifted her over his head, but she hadn't let go of Roberto. Jasper was holding up Alice, who was holding up Roberto.

"Hey, that means they both win!" Emmett yelled.

Juicy shook his head and said, "Nope! Alice is holding him, Alice wins!"

"Yes! Jasper, put me down so I can get out of here!" Alice shrieked. He set her on the ground and she ran towards the door. It opened and she ran through it waving and saying, "See you later, losers!" as the door shut behind her. They heard a quiet, "Oh, crap." from behind the door.

"Should it bother me that she didn't give a backwards glance at us?" Jasper asked.

Edward sighed and asked, "Alright, one down, five to go. What's next?"

Juicy smiled and asked, "Have any of you seen Monty Python And The Holy Grail?"

* * *

**Mm... tortoise... liquid chewy... o.0**

**I'm going to make a chapter in Roberto's point of view... If you want?**

**Alright, this is possibly the longest chapter I have ever written. You wanted longer chapters... here it is. Be happy. XD**

**If anyone has any ideas for what they would like to see in the game show, tell me please! I have most of it planned out, but suggestions are welcome!**

**I had something else I wanted to say, but I've forgotten it...**

**Peace out,**

**Mojo**


	12. Attack Of The Bunny?

**Chapter 12: Attack Of The... Bunny?**

**Carlisle's Point Of View**

* * *

Juicy smiled and asked, "Have any of you seen Monty Python And The Holy Grail?"

Edward rolled his eyes and said, "Who hasn't?" Bella looked slightly uncomfortable and raised her hand saying, "Um... I haven't."

There was a collective gasp throughout the room. Bella blushed. Well, she would've. She didn't really... but they got the point.

"Bella! Shame on you!" Emmett yelled. Jasper sighed and looked around sheepishly, then said, "I... um... well, you see... I haven't either..."

Yet another group gasp was heard.

"Well, then this will be more fun than I had originally thought..." Juicy said with a smile. "But first," he continued, "we have to show you that dear old Alice is fine." He quickly disappeared. After a few seconds he was back, holding a flailing Alice by the arm.

"I don't wanna come back!" she screamed, trying to get away from him. He rolled his eyes and said, "Look, just tell them you're fine and you can go back!"

She stopped, turned to the others and calmly said, "I'm fine. Roberto and I were having a great conversation." She turned back to Juicy and said, "Now, if you don't get me back soon, I can see you having some painful falls."

He smiled at her and said, "Anything for you darling..." and they disappeared.

"What was that? Did he just hit on her?!" Jasper asked angrily. "I'll kill him!" he yelled.

"Wait," Emmett said, "if we play this right, you could be the next one out... and you could keep him away from Alice."

"What do you mean? We want out too! Alice can take care of herself!" Rosalie said. Bella nodded, agreeing with her.

"Look, we can just pick who wins each time. It will be over so much quicker. Jasper here should go first, because I'm willing to bet that he won't just happily go along with anything. Like he said, he'll kill him... Heck, I'll join him." Emmett said.

The girls sighed and Bella said, "Fine, but—" She didn't get to finish, as Juicy chose that moment to come back.

He was holding a small box. A look of dread came over everyone's faces as they remembered what the last box had contained.

"So, is everyone ready to begin?" Juicy asked.

"Um... no." Jasper said. He turned to Emmett and whispered, "I just remembered I haven't seen the movie... I don't know what to do!"

"It should be fine... probably. Just go with the flow... don't mess up, because if you prove me wrong, Rose will laugh at me..." Emmett replied.

"So?" Jasper asked.

"Just do it!"

Jasper sighed and said, "Fine, you big baby." He turned to Juicy, who was tapping his foot very quickly in impatience, and bravely said, "We're ready now... Do your worst."

Juicy smiled and said, "I plan to..." He set the box on the ground, opened it, and disappeared quickly.

Bella frowned. "Well, that was creepy. I wonder what's in the box...," she said as she walked forward.

"No Bella! I have to do it, remember?" Jasper said.

She rolled her eyes, but stepped back. Jasper walked slowly towards the box. He stopped when a shuffling sound came from within the box. He stood there for a few moments before a small, white bunny hopped out.

He let out a breath. "That's the challenge? A bunny? Psh... easy," he said as he advanced towards it again.

Edward leaped forward and pulled him back before he could reach the bunny yelling, "No! Jasper, don't you know what that is?"

Jasper rolled his eyes. "No. How many times must I tell you people,_ I haven't seen the movie_! Besides, it's just a bunny." he said angrily.

"It's no ordinary bunny! It's the most foul, cruel, and bad tempered rodent you'll ever set eyes on!" Emmett said.

"Well, really, what could a bunny do? It wasn't even bitten...," Bella said.

"Look, that bunny's got a viscous streak a mile wide! It's a killer!" Emmett told her.

Rosalie rolled her eyes and said, "Emmett, stop quoting the stupid movie!"

He huffed and said, "Fine, but I'm warning you! Right after everyone ignores that dude's advice, they all get killed."

"... Right. Well, that's why it was a _movie_. Not real life, Emmett," Jasper said.

"Fine, ignore me, see what happens, stupid!" Emmett yelled.

"Guys, break it up," Edward said. "Look at the box the bunny is chewing on. There's a piece of paper on it."

"Hey, you're right! I knew there was a reason I married you!" Bella said happily.

"Um... besides my looks, smarts, and dazzling abilities... right?" he said nervously.

"Um... sure. Anyway, who volunteers to get the paper from the supposed rabid rabbit?" Bella asked.

"I suppose I will...," Jasper said. He looked around at the others and said, "Oh, no, don't stop me from meeting my untimely demise or anything..."

"Jasper. Go. Now," Rosalie ordered.

His shoulders slumped in defeat, he trudged cautiously towards the box.

The bunny stopped chewing on the corner of the box long enough to decide that Jasper wasn't a threat, then went back to chewing.

Jasper tip-toed to the box, bent down slowly, then grabbed it quick and ran as fast as he could back to the others.

"Got it!" he yelled triumphantly.

Emmett laughed. "It's just a bunny!" he mocked. "You weren't afraid were you?"

Jasper glared at him. "No! I was just being cautious."

"Uh huh."

"... Leave me alone. At least I got it instead of standing there like a chicken!"

"Just read it already!" Edward yelled.

"Fine! Impatient much?" Jasper glared. He rolled his eyes and opened the paper. After clearing his throat he said,

"_**To defeat this malevolent adversary, you must use the Holy Hand Grenade. Without it, there is not much hope…"**_

"Well, that's just great. Where are we going to get a hand grenade?" Emmett asked.

"Shush, Emmett. There's more," Jasper said. He read,

"_**Since you are all probably wondering how you will do this without a hand grenade, I will kindly give you a hint. I suggest looking deep, deep inside yourselves."**_

"You've got to be kidding me," Edward said.

"Hold on, I'm not done…" Jasper said. He continued,

"—_**specifically inside Rosalie. Possibly Bella, but more Rosalie…"**_

"What the heck is that supposed to mean?!" Rosalie asked angrily.

Jasper growled and said, "Will you people stop interrupting me?! I want to finish!" He glared at each of them in turn, and when he was sure he wouldn't be interrupted again, he read on…

"_**If that fails, you could always follow the advice of the Second Note. Which you won't find unless you look deep, deep inside… Rosalie. Sorry, Rosalie darling, it's not you, it's me…**_

_**Love, hugs, and coffee mugs,**_

_**Juicy J Dawg"**_

Jasper finished and looked up. "You can speak now… it's done."

"Again, what the heck was that?!" Rosalie yelled. Edward looked at her and said, "Well, it would seem that no matter what, we have to look... inside you."

Emmett growled and stepped in front of her protectively. "No one is going to look anywhere on Rose," he growled.

"Well then, what are we supposed to do?" Bella asked.

"We could try to capture the bunny without any stupid explosives..." Rosalie suggested.

"Hey, wait, Rose!" Edward exclaimed. "I saw something when you were talking... Open your mouth again!"

She glared at him and was about to say something when Bella interrupted with, "Oh, come on Rosalie, it can't hurt to try."

Rosalie sighed and said, "Fine. But no touching." She opened her mouth wide and Emmett looked inside.

He looked for a moment then gasped and said, "How in the world did he get that in there? And without you knowing!"

Rosalie's eyes widened in alarm and she said, "What? Get what in there? What are you talking about?!"

"Now, don't panic sweetheart, but you have a piece of paper... in your throat," Emmett said.

She was silent for a moment before screaming, "_What?!_"

"Calm down! It's fine, we'll just get it out!" Emmett said.

Jasper drew in a big breath and shouted, "Everyone just calm down!" Immediately everyone in the room had a dopey look on their faces and were so calm they nearly fell over.

"Emmett... go ahead... and get it out... before I come to and kill Jasper..." Rose mumbled.

"'Kay..." Emmett said sleepily. He reached out and... well, you don't need to know the details, all you need to know is that he came out with a piece of paper. He triumphantly held it above his head shouting, "I am the mighty... 'Paper-From-The-Throat-Grabber'!" It would have been more impressive had his words not been so slurred.

Jasper rolled his eyes and took the paper from him and opened it up. He read,

"_**So you found the second note. Good for you! Now, I would tell you how to find a Holy Hand Grenade, but it would be pointless seeing as the bunny is just... a bunny. That's what you get for watching so many movies. Now, the only thing that remains to be solved is... Who is getting out this time?**_

_**Toodles!**_

_**Juicy J Dawg"**_

They were silent for a few moments before Bella yelled, "You've got to be kidding me! We've been wasting all this time, just because Emmett here was afraid of a bunny!"

As they grumbled, Jasper ran over to the bunny and picked it up. "There. I win. Let me out now!" he called out.

Juicy appeared and said, "Congratulations! Now, if you'll just come with me..." He looked over at the four remaining vampires and said in a horrible Terminator impression, "I'll be back."

* * *

I turned from the screen and looked at Alice, who was still sitting on the floor in front of Roberto, talking to him.

"Alice, how in the world are you having a conversation with a turtle? You know he can't speak..." I asked.

"He is a tortoise, not a turtle! And he knows sign language. So there," she answered.

"Alice, he's not moving."

"So? I can see it before he does, duh. Sheesh," she said as she rolled her eyes. I was about to say something to her when Juicy appeared with Jasper in tow.

Alice jumped up happily and ran to hug him, than promptly went back to Roberto.

"Well, I've got to go torture them some more... Bye, y'all!" he yelled as he departed.

* * *

**Um... yeah, I don't really have an excuse for why this is so late... Sorry... But it's another long chapter! ... Yay?**

**Reviews are much appreciated...**

**There's a picture of Roberto in my profile... I'm writing his chapter in his point of view. I might do Bunny's, but there may not be a point... He doesn't really do anything...**

**Peace out,**

**Mojo**


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